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The first 4WD on it’s side for the ski season. Last season we saw about 8 or 9 SUV rollovers. For some in explicable reason, people that own SUVs and large 4WD trucks believe they are riding in some magical unicorn. They drive as if the vehicle does not need to obey the laws of physics, therefore all laws of the road to not apply to the mighty horned beast they are piloting.

So to my readers that own large SUVs, “I’m sure there are at least two of you” YOUR CAR IS NOT MAGICAL

Winter once again is creeping up on us. I woke up this morning to about eight inches of snow. Boulder enjoys a sunnier winter than most other cities in the US north of the 44^th parallel. Sometimes the grey skies are a welcome site. It levels your mood and resets your expectation level. The grey skies of winter just goes to remind you that not every day can be a sunny day. Just about 1pm now we have blue skies and sunshine. The wonderful thing about Boulder is that the weather will always get better if you are patient.

“Ruben is staying at the Grapehouse for a few days and he is excited about the snow. You guys should come by and visit him.”

But this came via email and I think it’s pretty funny.

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a British style sense of humour.

In the USA they would have been accused of sexism or some such delight.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific, which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is .. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia20? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first

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Cheers and BIG Beers,

Peter