Our homeboy Josh came to town from New York to suprise Erin for her birthday in Denver. Saturday he came to Boulder to visit his old stomping grounds and spend some quality time with his peeps. It was great to see him again in Boulder..

But this came via email and I think it’s pretty funny.

These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a British style sense of humour.

In the USA they would have been accused of sexism or some such delight.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane , Cairns ,Townsville and Hervey Bay ? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe .
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific, which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is .. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia20? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It’s a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It’s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
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Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour..
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first

–
Cheers and BIG Beers,

Peter

I wish everybody would have read this, but I see the logs and I know very few have read it.. I went back through the archives over at gleepglop.org. I must say, Erik thanks for making me laugh.

1. # Fancy Pants -on 15 Apr 2008 at 10:13am

   You’re in like Flynn. And Flynn is really in. Paul is right, I happen to know from experience that that place would fall apart if you weren’t there to straighten up all of the loose and scraggly ends flopping around like wet fish on the frozen deck of a small fishing boat in a nor’easter. If there is any amendment to your stylish wardrobe I would suggest wearing a headband. Nobody messes with a dude wearing a headband.

Erik asked me to take some pictures of him for his promotional material being a new chiropracter in the Boston area. I was happy to do it and, it went really well. Fortunatly he was with me for a band  shoot as well, because I needed the help. That was a fun gig… He was the best dressed assistant I ever had.